This is such a personal blog to write about because for me it stems from hurt. Rocks that I carry and now have to walk with are dealing with loss right now. I miss my grandmother. I miss going to her house every Thursday and making her dinner. I miss her hugs and kisses. I miss her support. I miss her strength.
I have to learn to live with loss and honestly I made it very far in my life without having to deal with it. One of the steps I have taken is to understand grief more and wanting to educate others. I also wanted to help my students understand how to respond to someone in grief. I was transparent about my absences from school with her passing.
I think we don't always realize how to handle sadness or loss. A lot of people avoid it or don't acknowledge it. Let's face it! I'm not a keep it to myself kind of person. I shared with my students' phrases and ways to respond to people when they lose a loved one. My favorite phrase was"I'm glad you are here today". It is simple but acknowledges a tough situation for someone. If someone is willing to open up and feels comfortable they will.
Time will help me move forward but my heart hurts often. Right now, it's Thursday and I would be with her right now. I would in her house and we would be talking. The reality is that I don't have that anymore. What I can do is acknowledge the change and be thankful that I had the time I had. I can be thankful that my son got to meet her and love her too.
I can empty my shoe of the painful rock and realize that it had just been love the whole time. As a result of this rock, I can learn to love more. I can learn to make each moment count. I can learn to live with no regrets. I will not live forever but I don't want to carry hurt with me. I don't want to get bitter with sad. I want to live with positivity. I want to live a life like my grandmother, Audrey. I will continue to impact lives like the way she has impacted mine with love and kindness.
I dislike the rock but it made me a stronger more thankful person.
Taisha - loss is definitely a rock in your shoe. It sounds like you had a wonderful relationship with your grandmother and that you both must have loved each other very much. In my experience the rock of loss will eventually soften around the edges and the hurt will not be as acute, but it will still be there and you will still feel it. The upside is that when you do, you smile and remember how much your grandmother meant to you :)
ReplyDeleteTaisha- What a gift for you to share about the loss of your grandmother and how that relationship reached you. Thank you for taking the risk to be open to allowing us to share. You are inspiring. Chris
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